Mar 06, 2019 I focus on the present moment and how I can make me better right now. I find peace in 75 minutes of class or even the 10 minutes of chaotic flow while my eight-year-old daughter plays around me. After the pain of divorce or any unsatisfying adventure in life, I feel finding peace is what matters most, and I find peace in yoga.

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296 Build More Self Confidence by Divorce recovery, divorce and kids, divorce happiness, success and spiritual growth. Helping parents find happiness and peace after divorce every day.
Divorce Coach Susan Allan addresses the rational and spiritual components of your individual divorce process with step-by-step solutions to find PEACE. Susan Allan is the founder of The Divorce Forum, which offers free practical advice from ten experts in all areas of divorce.
If you want to respond to a divorce case that your spouse has opened, use the Answer and, if necessary, a Counter-Complaint for Absolute Divorce or Limited Divorce. You may also need to file a Civil Domestic Information Report (CC-DCM-001 ), financial forms, Joint Statement of the Parties Concerning Marital and Non-Marital Property (CC-DR-033.
Finding P.E.A.C.E. In the Pieces is the powerful divorce recovery program designed to compassionately guide women from anger, grief, guilt, and uncertainty to expansion, empowerment, and transformation.

Divorce mediation is an alternative dispute resolution process that allows divorcing couples to try and negotiate a mutually acceptable agreement with the help of a neutral mediator.

A mediator does not have the authority to make decisions. Instead, a mediator works in a neutral capacity and attempts to facilitate agreement on any disputed financial or co-parenting issues.

The mediator will help both parties to understand the priorities and issues involved in the divorce, clear up any misconceptions, and possibly offer ideas for reaching a resolution.

It’s important to understand that the mediator does NOT represent either party. Their primary goal is to facilitate agreement – NOT to protect you from being taken advantage of.

That’s why it’s almost always a good idea to work with a consulting attorney that can look out for your interests.

The benefits of mediation

There are lots of good reasons to consider using mediation when you’re going through a divorce:

It is confidential. There is no public record of what goes on during the mediation process.
Mediation typically costs less than litigation or collaborative divorce.
Lawyers have a much more limited role
Mediation is less adversarial than litigation which reduces the animosity and can help preserve a working relationship.
Mediators are trained in counseling can assist both sides in acknowledging feelings but not allowing feelings to control the decision-making process.
You and your spouse have significantly more control over the process and the outcome than when the court is involved. This creates more durable agreements.
You have a lot more input so that you can feel better about arriving at a final agreement about what is fair rather than having a rigid set of rules guide your fate.
Mediation is much less emotionally harmful and better overall on children. Children hate to see conflict between their parents and by showing you are working together, you can set an example and minimize any repercussions.
You still have the option of going to court. Choosing mediation does not in any way cause you to lose your right to litigate your divorce in front of a judge. Anything that took place during mediation will remain confidential (except for signed written agreements and financial affidavits).
Mediation may still be an option even when domestic violence is present in a marriage. Whether mediation is appropriate really depends on the extent of the domestic violence and the imbalance of power. In some situations, you may want to have your attorney attend the mediations with you if domestic violence was an issue during the marriage.
A mediator can’t order you to do anything. All that’s required to make a divorce mediation successful is for both people to show up willing to negotiate and open to compromise.

How to prepare for mediation

Mediation is voluntary in almost all states, so both spouses must agree to go this route.

Once agreed upon, the key to a successful mediation is preparation.

Documents you’ll need

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You can’t control all parts of a divorce mediation, but you can take steps that will help the process proceed as smoothly and as quickly as possible.

As part of this process, you will need to gather several documents, including:

Federal and State Tax Returns
Pay Stubs
W-2s and/or 1099s
Partnerships & Other Business Interests Valuation. Copies of corporate tax returns for the previous three years if one or both spouses have a business.
Real Estate Property Valuation
Vehicles, Boats, Trailers Valuation
Savings, Checking, Money Market and CD Accounts including balances
Non-Retirement Investments such as Stocks, Bonds, Secured Notes, Mutual Funds
Current balance statements for all children’s accounts such as CD’s, 529 plans or other custodial college savings plans.
Make, model and year of all vehicles owned and a statement of the private party value for each as listed on Kelly Blue Book (www.kbb.com).
Information of any pending civil lawsuit claims in which either or both spouses are a listed plaintiff(s).
Executive Compensation – Stock Options, RSUs or Other Executive Comp
Annuities, IRAs, Deferred Compensation
Personal Property–approximate value of the contents of all homes owned, all jewelry, art, antiques and other collectibles of significant value. Some items may need to be specially appraised for value if spouses are not able to agree on their value.
Accounts Receivable & Unsecured Notes
Current balance statement for all student loans.
Statements for any other private loans, either verbal or with a written note, in which one or both spouses are debtor(s).
Real Estate Loans
Credit Cards and Revolving Credit
Other Loans and Debts
Copy of marriage certificate
Copies of any trust documents
Copies of all pre-marital, and/or marital agreements in effect such as any pre or post-nuptial agreements.
Copies of any wills executed during the marriage.

If you’re concerned that a spouse is less than forthcoming with all of this information, this is one of the issues a mediator can address in a non-confrontational way.

Also keep in mind that in many states, a financial affidavit is required to be submitted as part of the final settlement agreement, so whether you mediate or not, you will probably end up having to pull all of this documentation together anyway.

Set goals and priorities

Once you have all of your financial information in hand, you have to decide what you’re going to do with it.

This will require trying to determine what your personal priorities are and what you want to get out of the divorce. Keeping the family home may be a top priority, especially when children are involved.

But what are you willing to let go of in exchange for the family home?

You should also create a post-divorce budget, so you have a clear indication of what you will need to live. That will help you to decide what you need to bargain for.

Now is the time to think about alimony, child support, and a parenting plan – not only for negotiation purposes, but for practical purposes as well.

Keep in mind that the courts will look closely at the needs of any children and will always rule for what is in their best interests.

Although your marriage is ending, your parenting duties will not.

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